This website is back, against popular demand.

…However, in keeping with the 2009 DGAF Accord, I will not be expending much energy into learning HTML; therefore, updates will be sporadic and of questionable quality.

I will write some new bits shortly (I just got out of rehab so my skills are kind of spotty.  I am battling a hellacious snus addiction right now and I appreciate your respecting my privacy during this trying time).  The Archives are being loaded now.  Links will be activated in order. 

In the meantime, read these, prick!

Non-reptiles Mourn the Loss of the "Crocodile Hunter"

Anderson Cooper Fails to look Intense

July is Transformers 2 is a Stupid-ass Movie Month.

I exercised poor judgment this weekend.  Worse than going hoggin' or paying for an mp3; I decided that it would be a cool idea to pay 12 dollars to watch construction equipment turn into walking pinball machines with stage theater voices spouting off about epic save-the-world nonsense.  If Optimus Prime were a genuine long-haul semi, he would be too busy with JD, meth, and fumbling with bathroom-dispenser condoms to bother with saving the peons of Planet Earth.  Just imagine whatever equipment you have at your work transmogrifying into a sassy android and that's what you would have if the Transformers world really existed.  As if you didn't already identify enough from the printer scene from Office Space--which was a much better movie by the way.

*Welcome to the Archives.

It's like saving 2-dollar bills: seriously, who gives a F*CK?!?

Click for the Clippings Archive.

Spoiler Warning: you'll never be satisfied with a real news headline again.

Fun with Words! Click it, you ass!  illiter-bugs

Bomb Disguised as Bomb makes it through Security Checks

I wrote a haiku. Deep.

I Invent a Killer Sex Move

Man Wins Poon through Sheer Attrition

Paying for Music is so 2001

It only Costs $35 to Suck at Life at a Casino

I Explain Smoking

Consumers Reject the Second Coming in favor of PS3

Drug Czar Declares Cease-Fire on the War on Drugs

Annex Canada!

Local Man Decides to Have Beer Instead

monthly rants '07

You need to see this in order to not see that.
My review of Transporter 2 can save you untold agony. The film caused me massive psychological wounds (for which I do plan to sue.  Read on!

Tooth Fairy

Dry Socket

33% of 70 Years is much too long to Suck

The Joys of Pill Cutting

Europe is the Sh*t!!!

Legal Shit

Hey, dickhead!

Unless expressly noted with a huge banner complete with asterisks and shit, absolutely all music, written
works and jaw-droppingly awesome paintbrush (pbrush) pieces on this website are created by and property of
site administrator and state-certified bad-ass, Lester Greystone.   All copyright rules and regulations apply,
even if I don't have the little "C" thingy.