33% of 70 Years is Much Too Long to Suck

If you have, out of sheer desperation, developed certain ways to tune out while you work,
and/or if you "bust ass" specifically and only because it makes the day seem to go by quicker,
there's a good chance that over 1/3 of your life is pure shit.  Think about this.  If you're not
quite sure, here are some tell-tale signs that you might need to head for the door:
  • The job has driven you to start or increase smoking and/or drinking.  If more than 50% of
    your peers smoke and drink regularly, this can also be a bad sign.
  • You have frequent meetings regarding problems with positivity/motivational/production
    level issues.  People who enjoy their jobs don't need to hear these kinds of speeches
    every week.
  • High turnover rates.  You're constantly meeting new people because they're getting fired
    or quitting at a rapid pace.  Often times you'll be training them.  (High turnover is also a
    reason for repetitive weekly meetings).
  • The hallways and break-rooms are emblazoned with those faggoty motivational posters;
    you know, those mass-produced pieces of crap with a soaring eagle or some spandex-
    modeling glacier climber with a keyword like "determination" on top, and a clever catch-
    phrase on the bottom.  To me these are just cleverly disguised exit signs.
  • People are blatantly selling drugs in the workplace, including crack cocaine.  (Yes, I have
    seen this).
  • On the first day on the job, a senior employee gives you the ultimate advice, "Just let your
    brain go dead."  (Yes).
  • An entire section of the 2nd shift has been fired because the operations manager came in
    unannounced to find them selling drugs amongst themselves.  (Yes).
  • An employee brings a handgun to work, wrapped in white cloth, in order to sell it.  If it
    can't be sold, --hey-- no loss, because the guy can always hold on to it for someone else,
    or if he needs to, use it to "smoke a motherfucker."  (Yes).
  • If you yourself aren't the least bit surprised upon witnessing any of the above three.
  • Your workplace employs a chant or "fight-song."
  • Several clusters of your workmates live in the same house.  They may also live check-to-
    check, ignoring expenditures like car payments and toothpaste, living mainly to get
    wasted and practice in their half-assed band.  (Yes).
  • A common phrase amongst management is, "those animals."
  • Consider the thought-to-suck ratio: if you spend more brain cells contemplating how
    much your job blows than what you need for actually doing your job, you need to start
    thinking of a career change.
  • A co-worker asks you for a ride home, and upon asking him where he lives, his answer is
    "JAIL."  (Yes).
  • You often wish to God you had the balls to "pull an Office Space."


This is just a short list.  Really, you most likely know immediately if your job sucks.  The rough
part is figuring out what to do next, and gathering the confidence to tell 'em all to fuck off.  This
is especially hard to do if you're doing the family thing. Once you're tied in to a lot of
commitments, often times the first thing to get kicked off the boat is your balls.
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