You're next on the list for occupation, Eh?

 

 

 

 

We as a country are embroiled in several crises, including those of energy, pollution, and trade.  There are many theories
and ideas going around as how to improve our collective situation.  ...That is, all but the most obvious:

INVADE CANADA.

I'm not just trying to incite another war for the hell of it, though.  I've done lots of research.

Well, I tried to, anyway.  I couldn't come up with much, because nobody really knows anything about the place.  Have you
ever seen a story on the news that dealt with Canada at all?  Does anything happen there?  Think about it: when is the
last time you've heard Canada mentioned--I mean, at all?

Dammit, what the hell is going on up there!?  

A lot of people are of the assumption that Canada is a laid-back, quiet country with decent people, and that's why we
never hear about them.  No.  I call bullshit.  Everybody knows that things come in threes, and so far Canada is most
well-known for maple syrup, hockey, and...well, can you guess what point C of this little triangle is?

That's right: terrorists.  (probably)

What's the main problem in identifying and decrypting terrorist agents and their networks?  The answer is lack of
information.  And which country do we know the least about, yet is perched right above us, separated only by a handful of
Mounties and some inclement weather?  And need I remind you of all that French that's going on up there?

Right.  As you see, we've now come full circle.  Come and see what else our Northern "friends" are up to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, the Upper Country is running unchecked and causing much strife.  It's not their fault; they don't have any
intervention to steer them on the right path!  Only by Uniting with Canada  can we ensure the safety of both our nations,
as well as improve the standards of our troubled friends above the border.  We're running out of good land and they need
to get a hold of some better sports.  I hope some day we can repeat victories of the past and brutally conquer these quiet,
unassuming people and live in harmony.