Bomb Disguised as Bomb Makes it through Security Checks

Security officials were aghast this Tuesday when independent airport security inspection personnel successfully smuggled
a "bomb-bomb" past all checkpoints.

"I can't believe this," murmured Joaquin Phoenix, head of LAX's security unit.  "It just goes to show that you can never,
ever let yourself get too confident."

He went on to reveal his disappointment:

"I mean, as a whole, airport security has a pretty good bead on what these terrorist cunts are up to.  I mean, they nailed
that 'shoe-bomber' asshole in Paris, and you gotta admit--a shoe, hey, that's getting crafty."

Phoenix became visibly upset, gulping Fiji water in between shaking fits.

"After something like that, you gotta break down and really understand that anything is possible.  You need to have an
imagination, weird as that may sound.  I mean, they spotted the rat-bastard trying to light his shoelace!  

...But," he continued, "I mean, a bomb that looks like an Actual Bomb?   I'm a little embarrassed to say that we had all but
stopped looking for that type of thing.  Who in the shit was behind this little 'sting,'  fuckin' INTERPOL?"

An alert suddenly came blaring out of his radio; a suspect had just been stopped with "suspicious glasses."

"Damn it!"  Phoenix shouted, quickly rising and grabbing for his cigarettes.  "Another spooge-boozer trying to bomb-fuck
my planes.  Not on my watch, cock-breath."

"I've got to go," he said sternly, charging ahead to meet his men.

"Hold him," he replied.  "And we need to start listening for ticking and beeping again.  The twats are using
reverse-psychology on us."