Drug Czar James Howlett officially declared today that he is issuing an "immediate and all-encompassing cease fire on the
War on Drugs."

His reasons centered on recent internal reports suggesting that much of the budget is merely, arbitrarily spent in vain.

"Yeah, I mean, we've tried just about everything we can think of and they always manage to get around us. It just ends up
costing us more and more money to chase these guys around in circles. Since we're given no real power to engage the
drug-lords directly, there's really no way we can honestly win this."

He went on to lament the public's lack of support for the cause:

"...The voters?! Regular working folk? Come on. They never agree to anything that involves giving us money. Shit,
man--they just wanna twist blunts and fuck all day."

It has been pointed out that the "war on drugs" is only resented so much because of seemingly half-hearted measures and
policies.

"Whatever," scoffs Howlett. "Do you see a fuckin' Heroin/no Heroin switch on my desk, asshole?"

Co-workers and subordinates confirm that he regularly vents frustration at the demands placed on his position.

"I'm not exactly in the position of ultimate power in this whole thing--you know that, right? I've got bosses and they've got
bosses, you know. So, if you see that it's obviously poorly-tempered and ineffective, then there's probably a reason.
They're not total idiots. Maybe some of the men on high are really on high, y'know what I'm saying?" (gestures
aggressively puffing a joint)

He then knocked back two fingers of Scotch and scowled with disgust.

"I just saw a new 'initiative' that outlines contracting out to build some kind of stupid-ass drug-sniffing robot, and--yeah,
great--more border-patrol bullshit. WHITE FLAG, motherfuckers! We've been doing this for 50 years. Hello, it doesn't
work for shit, are you listening? Is anyone there? Mr. Chairman?"

He refilled his lowball and paged for his assistant.

"So, you see, no more playing around. Now, I actually met one of these 'heinous' drug-lords Tuesday, and he was cool as
hell. I mean yeah, he was a ruthless killer for sure. Power-hungry sociopath? No contest--absolutely. But c'mon, it's
business. We're no better. You know how DuPont sent those ninjas in to kill that dock-worker and his family in
Michigan?" He asks.

"Of course you don't know, it's fucking NINJAS! That's why they hired them."

He then slammed down his second shot and began to rush our crew out the door.

"My point is, if anyone was halfway serious about this shit, we'd be a lot further ahead than we are now. Let your brain
chew on that. Now, if you'll excuse me, my secretary is coming up with her hot-ass sister and some Peruvian Snow. I'm
gonna get spun, like a cinnamon bun--you know what I'm sayin'? I'm-a get fucked up."