Norm MacDonald Needs to get his Thievin' Arse Kicked
  
Dateline: September 15, 2006 A.D.

Actor/Comedian/Has-been Norm MacDonald commited a terrible atrocity this week:
Like a fag, he tried to "boost my shit."

My friend BoucheDag, mastermind of the Weakly Blog (the weakest blog around), informed me this morning that former SNL Weekend Update anchorman and curly-haired jerkwad Norm MacDonald did a bit last night on the Daily Show regarding "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin's passing.

Some of the premises of his bit were taking into account the crocodiles' perspective on the matter, and the dynamics of being assaulted by one of nature's goofiest mistakes (aside from Norm MacDonald), the stingray.

Nice, pal.  Only one problem: I did it first, and much better.  My bit on the topic was officially created and posted Sep. 6 of this year, and last modified on the 8th.  MacDonald, 42, has had trouble finding significant work lately, as Adam Sandler has not needed a MacDonald-ish crony for one of his films for some time.

Several unpublished independent underground self-conducted online studies show that my website is extremely popular amongst washed-up celebs ages 31-49, second only to Eugenicsforrichassholes.com.  He clearly logged on to my site and read my article, tweaked it to sound all MacDonald-y and shit, and spat it out in its inferior form on the Daily. 

I have tried to contact Mr. MacDonald to confront him on the issue, but his agent has been suicidal since Doctor Doolittle 2 and has apparently been institutionalized.  All I get is a recorded message in which a slightly high-pitched sounding male (which I assume to be Rob Schneider) gives out another number to call, which led me to a transmission shop in Des Moines.

Hey, asshole, what's the problem?  Don't tell me all that Dirty Work money dried up already!

I would be satisfied with Norm conducting a Public service announcement regarding the evils of plagiarism, but the public at large will handle this cretin for me after Deuce Bigalow 4 hits theaters, when they will form a lynch mob and tie him onto the hood of a Lincoln Towncar and beat him with crappy Jeff Gordon merchandise at the behest of Kevin Nealon, to whom he owes several month's back rent.

Now I have to put dates on all my entries!  Thanks a lot.  Fuck you Norm!

Norm MacDonald can bee seen on the Irrelevant Across America tour, which should start this November, depending on whether or not Jimmy Fallon lets him out of his Gimp Box.
 
 
Click here to read my original and much fuckin' better bit on the Croc Hunter.