Local business seeks average employee

The Ovaria Corporation is seeking an average employee to help fill its growing, lackluster team!Here at Ovaria, we are seeking a partially-driven, moderately intelligent new hire to work in our contract compliance division.

This is an okay opportunity for anyone with a mild dose of drive to earn a nice career with decent pay and some possible chance for growth!  Here you will have the chance to make a lot of tolerable acquaintances while providing adequate customer service.  Ovaria has had over 75 years of somewhat bridled success by adhering to the belief that the air's the limit, and that a company is only as good as its employees' mean score.

The application process is laid-back and candid; we know that the information in your resume, CV, dossier, --whatever you want to call it-- is always superseded by how you feel at any given time, and feelings are what drive people to do their absolute enough to get by!Come and apply today!

Applicants are passively encouraged (though not required) to possess some of the following traits:

Must be willing to come to work several times a week during daylight hours.

Must either possess a valid driver's license or be able to demonstrate some skill at driving a company vehicle.

--We have a soft spot for anyone who can make a mean pot of coffee!

Must pass a full drug screen (waivers available under certain conditions, anti-depressants and Percocet O.K.)!

Must have a GED or certificate of completion from home school.

No smoking or heavy drinking allowed, except in the employee lounge, warehouse, rest rooms, basement, and Lance's office.

We here at Ovaria want interesting people!  If you were in drama class in high school, majored or minored in psychology, of if you can claim to be able to draw or play bass; well, that's pretty interesting, isn't it?

Come on down and speak with our decent management team and see if we'll settle for YOU!