SEP 13 09

Pink shirts are for tools.

Nothing screams "use me to tighten nuts" more than a guy wearing a pink shirt.  I was always taught that pink was a fruity color.  However, with any kind of social programming like that, there is an inborn potential to rebel.

...Problem is, pink actually is a fruity color, the social progamming was correct, and rebelling against it makes you into a giant pair of walking pliers.

The whole thing started a few years ago, when this insane idea began to circulate that it was cool to wear pink shirts because it showed that you were "secure."

This is bullshit for several reasons.

1: truly secure people do not need to do engage in such idiotic posturing.  Part of being secure is not giving a crap about what other people think or see to begin with.  A secure man does not even hear others' cries for mercy or medical attention, much less comments about his choice of clothing.

2: despite the wannabe non-conformist aspirations of this act, no man actually likes pink to begin with, so even as an attempt to "send a message," any guy who wears pink is just selling his self out, and betraying true men everywhere.  If pink suddenly meant "I like rum, arson and fornication," I would still NEVER run out to buy a pink shirt, because pink is just a shit-ugly color--end of story.  I do own one white shirt with some thin purple and pink pinstripes on it and that fucking thing makes me cringe every time I see it.  Last time I wore it I caught my reflection in a store window, then headbutted a little girl out of sheer rage for wearing even that much pink.  I then waited as her father ran over to help, punched him in the stomach and set his car on fire. 

3: pink is not even a color at all.  It's a sign of frailty, decay, and lack of spirit.  It's how your red shirts and underwear tell you it's time to throw them out.  If "seeing red" is a term for male rage, then "seeing pink" would be equivalent to that lazy, scrubs-watching bitch at work sensing an incoming migraine.

4: wearing pink panders to females, which no man should ever do.  Ever.

Pink serves only two purposes on this planet: to show that a vagina is ripe for pummeling, and as society's highlighter for douche-bags.  Stop wearing the pink shirts.  Stop it.