Marla Singer, a Secretary at the M.I.C. financial headquarters in Austin, TX is outstanding in all her normal job duties,
though where she really outshines is in the "putting out department," to quote some of her co-workers.

"I had her doing the regular, menial tasks--until that one fateful day," remarks Richard Chesler, one of the senior officers
there. "I'd been pervin' on her for a while in silence, until I just snapped; I couldn't take it anymore. I asked her if the
carpet matched the drapes, to which she responded: 'hardwood floor,' pointing you-know-where."

He slapped the desk hard, looking up in amazement.

"I tell you, my blood pressure shot up 50 points right there in my office! From that point forward, I knew that I was going to
be sending that forgetful dumbass Leonard to get the coffee--permanently."

He then fetched two of his subordinates to augment his story.

Jack, a 30-year old compliance & liability agent, heartily agreed:

"Oh, Singer? The new secr--Oh, hell yeah! 12-Megaton ass. Once she drops that, ball-town is levelled immediately by
the initial blast, with heavy radiation damage scorching much of Vas Deferens County, and detectable fall-out well into the
Prostate District."

Tyler, a self-employed businessman and friend of Jack, concurs.

"Yes. Deadly, Deadly hiney," he chimes. "And let's not forget those dual bunker-busters up top. No one without class 5
body armor could withstand an encounter with that kind of ordinance. I almost had to call OSHA, because someone had
apparently spilled toxic amounts of SEXY all over this woman! Hee-HAW!"

Despite the interviews, it was unclear as to whether any of the men working there actually had sexual relations with Singer.

"Those losers upstairs!?" scoffs Leonard Shelby, a new clerk hired out-of-state. "Oh, I'm sure she flirts and goes into
those perverted conversations, because she's not embarrassed about that kind of stuff at all. But did any of those cretins
get any? I don't think so," he answers confidently. "She's a lesbian. Have you seen her girlfriend? Incredibly gorgeous."

He then saw a sticky-note attached to his folder saying to fetch coffee from SunDollars cafe.

"Coffee run. Hmmm. I'm sorry--what were we talking about?"